Gay but not Happy

Poof, faggot, fag, queer, homo, bender...
the list goes on; but these are a few of the more common insults that I've been insulted with over the years. Then of course there are the physical attacks- a brick thrown at me, resulting in a stay in hospital; and just a couple of years ago, attacked unconscious on a busy road because I dared to stand up and challenge homophobia. I count myself fortunate; I could be one of the unimaginable numbers of people around the world that are tortured, murdered or executed because they dare to love someone of the same sex; so it will come as no revelation that I am absolutely intolerant of homophobia, explicit or implicit.

Imagine my dismay when I recently came across a remark, made on a public forum of a craft selling website (of all places) that was homophobic. An individual referred to QPR (Queens Park Rangers) football team as ‘Queers Playing Rough’- I challenged this remark and said that it was actually homophobic- it was using the word ‘queer’ as a derogatory term, much like the common use of ‘gay’ when describing something in a negative way. (I also have to add that heterosexuals don't have the privilege of being able to use the word 'queer' so freely!)
I was absolutely astounded and angered by the reaction of the individual, they threatened me with legal action for being libellous, because I pointed out publicly that the remark was homophobic- am I missing something here? How dare I say that they were homophobic, how they were best friends with a lesbian(?), and that it was a private ‘joke’.

Having gay friends is not license to use language that is considered homophobic; also making relevance of a friend's sexuality is just another example of singling out an individual based on their sexual preference. 
To some people, it may seem amusing or even normal describing something as ‘gay’, or think it’s okay to make jokes about 'poofs' or 'dykes'; not forgetting the offensive gay stereotyping- but these are usually individuals who have never been singled out because of their sexuality, or have ever been insulted by one of the many terms for homosexual*- perhaps then, they would realise that these words aren’t so harmless or amusing.
*Fact- there are no derogatory terms for heterosexual!

The issue had consumed my whole weekend- I think what angered me the most was the arrogance and ignorance of the individual demanding an apology, threatening legal action and failure to see how the remark was homophobic; there were also the lies of me allegedly sending nasty messages- no doubt this  was to rally support and show how bitter  and twisted all us gays are!
I did contact the Stonewall Organisation who said that it was not against the law to challenge homophobic statements on the internet, much the same way as it isn't illegal (unfortunately) to make them.

I am not being overly sensitive, and I most certainly don't have a ‘huge chip on my shoulder’ because I am gay (such a cliché). I’m just a regular individual who has to live in a society that can be intolerant, hateful and violent towards people like me- and if I see something is homophobic, then I will call it out, as it will be homophobic- not a joke, not amusing, not just a word, phrase or political incorrectness- it will be something that represents that intolerance and hate against me and others like me.