Impending Doom...

...gay supernova in T minus 4 hours...
I am fast approaching that number...that age that causes me angst when I say
it ...40...40...40! A gay man approaching middle age really is like an old star about to implode on itself, and create a black hole.

...okay, maybe a bit melodramatic!

I have been feeling a bit low about reaching this middle age; in all honesty it isn't so much the age, it's more about being in my present situation at the age of 40.
We all make these plans as to how life should be at certain ages, leaving enough room for error and unexpected changes, this is why I approach the age with dread, because things haven't really went the way I planned. It's funny how as the years went buy, my life plans, expectations and hopes grew less grandiose, to this point now- where I never make plans, expect nothing and hope for the best.
When people use the cliche 'life begins at 40'- fair enough, but I would like the vitality of youth to enjoy it, thank you; and I believe now, I've reached the age where I can be officially grumpy without giving a reason!